this is one of the worst days in my life. or at least my life till today.

and feeling sad somehow only gets me angry.

it's the holidays, finally!! i have been like a snail crawling endlessly to the finish line and yes! i have made it!!

tomorrow i have to go back to school to collect my report book. my gpa is agony. the pain is throbbing within me, causing me to feel misery!

holidays - a time meant for relaxing. but NO! MY HOLIDAYS ARE FILLED WITH ASSIGNMENTS - AGONY, PAIN, MISERY.

I NEED TO DISTRESS! RELEASE ME FROM MY SUFFERING!!



okay sorry. typing like the above is getting tooooo gay for me to take. i feel evil. so i shall stop. watched pirates today. it was a pretty good movie. : ). and yes, i need to go to school at 8 tomorrow to collect my report book and face my horrible gpa. bummer. : / . math remedial after that until the afternoon too. double bummer.

pooooooooooooo. my right eyebag is getting more and more evidently larger than my left eyebag. hur hur hur.

because everything's in such a mess.

so I didn't go to school today, again. had a fucking headache this morning so I decided not to go. I'm in such deep shit cause I'm going to use up yet another letter. this is damn screwed. I mean people don't go to the doctor everytime they are unwell especially when it's something minor and they already have the medicine. crap, man.

so I'm pretty much jaded from school. pissed off from cca. and upset about results. I shall not elaborate about those 3 stuff here. cause crystal lee should always learn to stfu. whatever she says doesn't make people happy. so one person unhappy > many people unhappy. that is damn logical.

So all three decided to come in at great impact at the same time to fucking bother me. Screwed up headache. dammit. I'm so frigging vulgar here but I really damn damn pissed off and upset and stressed out. I'm thinking of doing something about some stuff but it's kind of hard to go about and I'm afraid it wouldn't work out.

so thursday was actually spent in school, having physics and chem remedial lessons. (argh). then stayed back to paint the class banner for ora stall on saturday. it's nice. : ). chilled out with sherry, arathi and peiting after that. lunch + toyrus + random walking around. went home. took a quick bath. went out again. caught some malay horror movie at marina. haven't watched a horror movie for ages so i was pretty much freaked out though the effects weren't really good and some parts were actually unrealistic and lame. and it seemed pretty budget. cause the sound effects were really overused.

got home pretty late. then i was too tired to wake up the next morning for school. didn't really feel like giving a shit about school. so i decided not to go. (damn, wasted yet another letter. and i have no more to spare. blah) training later after not touching my racket for almost 2 weeks. almost died, man. super zapped of energy by the time it was physical training after that. blah. and my arms are actually feeling funny from lobbing and that hardly happens. my thighs are also feeling funny after the sprinting physical. okay, muscle aches aren't really aches to me. they are just funny feelings. like the pain makes me laugh, just like bruises. oh i kind of like them both. i dont like cuts though. it's a searing pain. (it's pretty late and i'm tired. hence, the rubbish.)

saturday. went to school for ora. boring as usual, nothing compared to st nicks fun fairs. : /. it was mainly all about food, food and food. sheesh. no cool stuff. i say it's a food fair not a fun fair, man. damn i missed my class booth shift cause it was at 9 but i thought it was at 10. ah well. we managed to sell off everything. : ). took a bus down to far east with some classmates. by the time we reached far east, sherry and i had to leave to get to thomson cause she has ballet and i have church.

oh sheesh. i'm so tired i don't feel like typing anymore. this post is a little incoherent. : /.

and, it's happening. but i don't want it to. damn. i don't even know whether it's a good or bad thing.

你
的 泪 光
柔 弱 中 带 伤
惨 白 的 月 弯 弯
勾 住 过 往

夜
太 漫 长
凝 结 成 了 霜
是 谁 在 阁 楼 上
冰 冷 的 绝 望

雨
轻 轻 弹
朱 红 色 的 窗
我 一 生 在 纸 上
被 风 吹 乱

梦
在 远 方
化 成 一 缕 香
随 风 飘 散
你 的 模 样

菊 花 残
满 地 伤
你 的 笑 容 已 泛 黄
花 落 人 断 肠
我 心 事 静 静 淌
北 风 乱
夜 未 央
你 的 影 子 剪 不 断
徒 留 我 孤 单
在 湖 面
成 双

花
已 向 晚
飘 落 了 灿 烂
凋 谢 的 世 道 上
命 运 不 堪

愁
莫 渡 江
秋 心 拆 两 半
怕 你 上 不 了 岸
一 辈 子 摇 晃

谁
的 江 山
马 蹄 声 狂 乱
我 一 身 的 戎 装
呼 啸 沧 桑

天
微 微 亮
你 轻 声 的 叹
一 夜 惆 怅
如 此 委 婉

菊 花 残
满 地 伤
你 的 笑 容 已 泛 黄
花 落 人 断 肠
我 心 事 静 静 淌
北 风 乱
夜 未 央
你 的 影 子 剪 不 断
徒 留 我 孤 单
在 湖 面
成 双

菊花台 - 周杰伦


okay, i never listen to chinese songs. but i really really like this one. : )

and digress time is over, i want NEED to study history.

and so the midyears started today with english and ss. i thought english was okay, but ss was screwed up. but well, eventually both would be screwed up anyway. and it really annoys me when teachers scrutinize your scripts, like they are looking for something wrong or something. i mean, i'm sure they are just curious or something but it really makes me feel really uneasy and distracted. and the sound of high heels is really distracting as well. grah. nevermind.

so there was combined band prac after school today. we ate at rjc canteen for lunch and it was really really strange. like we were quite extra but nevermind. and i think rjc food isn't very much better than rgs. boo. the campus is pretty cool but it's going to be really really big compared to rg. we need to learn a new score for gdop and it's really hard and all of us think that we are damn screwed. deadline to learn (and play well) : in 3 weeks. = GG.

so because of this i probably can't go for training for a few more weeks to come. : /. okay so after prac i met zhimin at kallang for dinner and then we headed to the indoor stadium to watch the aviva open. men's matches are far more interesting than the women's matches. its just faster and with more powerful strokes and smashes. so that = more suspense and excitement. okay nevermind. some dude dashed to the sidelines to change his racket in the middle of the game cause his racket string/frame broke or something. bold move. it was quite cool though that doubles pair lost that point. and lin dan lost to ponsana after a long long match where zhimin just couldn't take the suspense anymore. hah. so everything ended at about 9.30pm and we koped the plastic clappers that were left behind.

okay. weekends will be spent mugging history and math. it's like i've even refrained from going online. or at least talking on msn. this midyearexam stress is giving me adverse skin conditions. i hate stress. i don't really feel it crushing down on me. but it really causes me to get outbreaks. >=( . anyway. my current skin condition is just gross. i'm currently having an outbreak and my skin is really really dry and flaky. disgusting. and don't argue that i'm not having an outbreak, because pimples are pimples and pimples don't lie. ah.

my history and math are sooooo screwed. sheesh. i can't wait for the holidays to come, but that would also spell pts and worrrrk. plus june camp, but im pretty neutral about that. no pbb, thankfully, cause i don't want to kill myself.

i wish i could go on a holiday without worrying about the work i have to complete back home. : / . work is always done. but sadly, work is also always given. so work never = 0. how sad, but too bad.